then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
