they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
