It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
