well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
