M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
