I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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