whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Too much gin, very little bucket
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize