is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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