And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
