NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Someone signed my nipple.
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