My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
