this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize