how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
