How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
