That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she woke up with a sticky ear
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
