I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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