Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize