White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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