Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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