Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
