I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
