Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
