Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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