I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
