Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
