Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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