Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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