Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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