brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
should my penis look like a turkey
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
