What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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