I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
