Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
