so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
