The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
How's work?
Spinning.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize