Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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