What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
