I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
