So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
