You don't have asthma, your pregnant
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
