She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
