i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
