I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
