The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
