Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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