Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
