To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
