I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
