Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
