I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
soo... how was my night?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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