just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
