I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
