If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
