I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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