The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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