you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
