I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize