At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So apparently I’m into choking now
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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