cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
