his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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