So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
