help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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