if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
