the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
