So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
