I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
