he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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