these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize