just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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