Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
