what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
